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My focus may wander

any which way

but my words

mean what they say.

         Whereas with you

the meaning is less clear

you glare into my eyes

while your phrases

dance round your subject

         so I do not know

are you saying yes

          or did you mean no?

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15.20.2020

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​Q4 response 32. ‘Networking. Hate it. Can’t do it’

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I only ever had two ambitions, to act and to write. At 17, I went into theatre and loved the environment and the creativity of ensemble working. I was happy  and was told my work was good. But there was an invisible barrier. A director told me that at auditions, he knew within 20 seconds of meeting an actor, whether they were on the same wavelength. I was already acting as I walked in, so we could never jump that hurdle and I rarely got the part. I left the stage, feeling myself a failure. It was decades before I discovered I’m autistic and I realised there’d always been a barrier to instant communication. Now I write,  because creativity must be expressed. I still miss the theatre, but can never go back, because nothing has changed. So I want equality of opportunity across the creative arts.